A Quick Update

   Thank you to everyone who has been and is praying for us!  I want to share a quick update on our baby. 

   Yesterday (Wednesday) we went back to the doctor for another sonogram, to make sure there was no mistake before we took any further steps.  The sonogram confirmed that the baby is no longer alive.  We will be going into the hospital tonight (Thursday) to begin induction.  My midwife said it can take anywhere from 1-2 days for my body to begin having contractions, and for me to deliver the baby.  That is a lot longer than I had expected, so that was a little surprise to me.  I would appreciate much prayer in that, as I endure a long, emotionally difficult labor. 

   Another thing that is weighing heavy on my heart and mind right now, is the decision of whether or not to have a funeral for the baby.  State law requires a funeral for a baby born after 20 weeks.  Since I am right on the borderline (20 weeks 5 days) they said that we don’t have to have one, but we can if we choose to.  Knowing how the hospital will dispose of the baby makes it hard to choose not to have a funeral, but on the other hand, a funeral is very costly.  We would really appreciate your prayer as we face these decisions in the next day or two…

…The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”  Job 1:21


Boasting In My Weakness

1 Corinthians 12:9-10


  1. Katie,
    You are most definitely in my prayers and in my heart over the next couple of days. I can’t begin to imagine what you are facing ahead or the pain you feel right now. I am absolutely in awe of you and of how well you seem to be handling this, although I am sure you struggle mightily behind closed doors. The decision of a funeral is a tough one. Adding that to my prayers, for sure.

    Would you mind if I blogged about you today? Just a quick explanation and request for prayers. I won’t do anything unless I get your permission.

    Praying for peace………Missy

  2. Hi! I found you from Missy’s site and you and your family are in my prayers. Our third child was born at 29 weeks and lived for 1 hour. We did have a funeral and the funeral home and the cemetary were very kind in many ways including costs. His ways and thoughts are so much higher than ours, sending you prayers and hugs as you and your family journey the path before you.

  3. You’ll continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. I’ve never been where your at right now but I do have an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on if you ever need it. Apparently we live in the same area so I can literally be there if you need me; sister to sister. By the way, we’re in Grand Prairie.
    Prayers & Blessings,

  4. Oh Katie I am so so sorry. My sister and her husband just went through the same thing a few months ago when she was 24 weeks pregnant. I have watched her pain and her struggle and mourned for my niece, baby Emma, whom I’ll never meet. The one thing my sister never did but wishes so desperately that she did now was to take foot and handprints of the baby as something to hold on to.

    My heart is breaking for your loss. May you hold steadfast and strong in God’s love.

  5. Katie,
    I am in awe of people who praise the Lord in the midst of deep pain and suffering. I fail miserably at that. God is so good, yet I fail to praise Him like I should, even on days that are good. Thank you for reminding me that my Praise shouldn’t rest on my situation. In fact, because God has brought me out of the darkness and into His light, I have the best possible situation there is. I have every reason to rejoice, not matter the circumstance I face. I am so thankful for the Cross and that God works through people like you. You remind me of the faithfulness of my friend Amy who just passed from Leukemia. I am convicted of my sinfulness and reminded of who my Savior is. Thank you for that. Watermark wrote a song about losing a baby called Glory Baby. Music minsters to me in wonderful ways. Perhaps the lyrics and music of this song could minster to you during this time. (I’d post them but I don’t want this comment to be a blog! 🙂

    You are in my prayers. God Bless!

  6. We are hurting with you and praying for you.

  7. Jared, Katie, and family,

    We will continue to lift you all up in prayer during the next several days. We will pray for wisdom for you all in the decisions you will be facing.

    Love in Christ,

  8. Oh, my heart is crying with you! I have no words that can take away the pain that I share in a grieving mommy’s heart. I have journaled my entire grief process from the beginning and I can offer a shoulder to cry on. ::cry:: The pain is still so raw and I pray that you will find peace that passes understanding — I am seeking this myself.

    Hugs, Tamara

  9. Katie,
    I’m coming in from Missy’s blog to say I’m both deeply saddened and sorry for your loss. I was a moderator for Hannah’s Prayer.org, a ministry for Christian couples facing fertility challenges and/or the loss of a child from conception through early infancy. In the days and weeks to come, if you are in need of receiving understanding and prayer from those who have gone through your specific loss, please stop by Hannah’s Prayer. I no longer monitor there, but have made lasting connections with women who understood.

    Please know that I will pray for you as you grieve. May God give you wisdom to make such a difficult decision, and may you know comfort through those close to you at this most difficult moment.
    Love in Christ,

  10. I said a prayer for you this morning and will continue to lift you and your family up in my prayers. I cannot understand why these things happen, but I am so grateful for a God who is sufficient to get us through times of unimagineable grief. God bless you!

  11. I have so much to say, but it’s hard to say. I know what you are feeling. We lost our little one at 32 weeks. He lived for an hour after his birth but never cried nor opened his eyes. It was much easier to let the healing begin after he was born. Dreading the hospital was the worst part for me. Afterwards all I wanted was to be pregnant again, and praise the Lord I was within five months and my son’s baby sister is sitting on my lap as I type. God is good!

    We aren’t where we are going to live permanately, so we did not do a funeral. No one but us would have attended so what we opted to do was cremation. We plan to bury our sons ashes with a planted Gingko tree after we get moved. I couldn’t stand the thought of a grave being left behind when we move from this place. I also made sure I got a clip of his hair, lots of pictures and his footprints. But it’s still not enough, I will not lie. I wish I could remember what it felt like to hold him. I still miss him and wish that somehow he could have stayed with me. The pain has faded some as I know, KNOW, he is with his father in heaven and not “lost” I didn’t lose a baby, I just had to say goodbye sooner than I wanted to and it hurts. But only for us. Our babies are not hurting, they are not scared, nor saddened by this event in their lives. They are the fortunate ones. They lived only in the safety of a loving womb, not in this broken world….They went from womb to heaven and that is indeed a precious thing.

    I wish I was there to help you in some way. I know I don’t know you at all, but my heart aches for you but I do have hope, a glorious hope that through this you will be closer to our Lord than you’ve ever been. He will sustain you and bring you into a peace that you’ve never experienced before.

    In love,

    Melissa Coffey

  12. I am so sorry. We had funerals with both our Matthew and Alethea. It is a personal decision. I think it helped bring closure. I feel it was a good thing for us to do. In both cases, the Lord took care of all the expenses. All we paid for was the gravestone for Alethea’s grave. I am so thankful that God provided the finances. I have said a prayer for you and your family.

    May God shower you with the peace and comfort that only He can give,

  13. Dear Katie,
    I am just checking back to see how you are, and how your birth went. I pray that the Lord was with you the whole time.

    You are on my heart and in my prayers.
    God Bless,
    Melissa D. SC

  14. I just wanted to say that I am sorry that my previous post might have overwhelmed you. I was just wanting to share what I had gone through and what I had found helpful since I had some time to plan. Please forgive my insensitivity, I did not want to hurt, offend, or make this time more traumatic than necessary.
    God Bless~~

  15. I am so sorry for your loss. We have a very close friend who lost her baby earlier this year. You may find some comfort in her story. You can read it at
    I pray that each day though you will love and miss your baby always, the sting of pain will be lessened a bit and you will feel the Lords loving hand wrapped around you to comfort you in trying times such as these. Lori

  16. Katie,

    I am so glad the song touched your heart. Music is an incredible gift God has given us. I am so grateful that I can help in even a small way. (Isn’t it cool when God uses us to minister to others. How good is our God!) I am truly blessed by your blog and your story. What a difference it has made in my life. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for almost a year, and no baby yet. I am trusting that God has a perfect plan in all of this, just like you are trusting in His perfect plan for your life. Press into the Lord. Remember His strength is sufficient to carry us through anything. We are so feeble, but God is so big and able to meet us where we need Him. I will keep praying for you.

    God Bless and Keep you!

  17. I just read all of your posts to “catch up” on what you are going through. I am so sorry. It is such a comfort to know that God is sovereign and that he is GOOD! I am going to pray for you right now.

  18. Jared, Katie, Trevor, and Zoe,

    We are so sorry for your loss. We have been praying for your family. Some close friends of hours lost their first baby at around 20 weeks. They had a necklace made with the babies name written in Hebrew and the mother always wears it. It has been a sweet reminder for them. We will continue to pray for you in the days ahead.

    Chad and April

  19. Katie,
    Just stoping by to let you know I am thinking about you and praying for you! (((Hugs))))

  20. Hi Katie, just wanted to let you know you have been on my mind so much the past few days. I am still praying for you and I know that God has such wonderful things for you, girl. It will all be such an awesome testimony to His grace and love. I hope you are at peace right now and that your entire family can feel all the prayers going up for you.


  1. […] Post #2 – an update I wrote from when we had 2nd sono that confirmed baby’s death […]

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