…at 6am on Friday, September 21, 2007. This will be my only post this week. I need a little break from blogging. But I wanted to give an update from where I left off on my last post.
We went in at 7pm Thursday night. Our pastor surprised us and was already at the hospital. Jared talked with him while the nurse began to get me all prepped. Then Jared and our pastor came in. Our pastor read Psalm 31 to us, and talked to us, and prayed for us. It was very nice to begin the evening in that way. It definitely helped to put our focus where it needed to be – on God!
By 10 pm, everything was underway, and Jared and I went to sleep. At 6am, I woke up and had the nurse come in, and the baby was born, so silently in our darkened hospital room. I really didn’t feel much emotionally at the hospital due to the Demerol. I was pretty out of it. We looked at the baby, and I held the baby for a few minutes. They weren’t able to tell if the baby was a boy or girl, and that was really hard for me, because I wanted to name the baby. They took little footprints and hand-prints in the nursery, and put them in a special little baby book that they gave to me. They also gave us a painted keepsake box, and a small baby gown, blanket, and cap to put in it. These are all very special things to have, and I was thankful for them. I think the footprints have been the best thing for me to have. When I look at them, I am reminded of just how real this baby was.
We have also decided to have a Memorial service rather than a funeral with a burial. This is just what the Lord gave both of us peace about, and we are thankful for that!
Emotionally this is all so much more difficult than I could have imagined. But it causes me to cling so much more tightly to Christ! I know He has to carry me through this, because it would be completely impossible for me to walk (or even crawl) through this alone!
Thank you to all of you who have written comments to encourage me, and who are lifting us up in prayer! I appreciate it so much more than you will ever know! I am so thankful to have my family, friends, and the Body of Christ to walk with me, encourage me, and pray for me through this. It is such a blessing to have people through this blog who are doing the same! I appreciate you! Thank you.
One more very important thing I want to let you know about. I was reading the Desiring God blog this morning. John Piper wrote a post about his granddaughter who was born Sat. September 22, just one day before her due date, and she was not alive. This was a huge shock, as the baby was completely healthy throughout the entire pregnancy. I just cried and cried as I read this story. I somewhat know their pain, but I know that what I am feeling can’t even come close to the pain they must be experiencing right now! Please pray for them! You can read the story here.