God is SO GOOD!

   I believe I mentioned in my last post that the nurse was unable to tell if our baby was a boy or girl.  This has been really hard for me to deal with.  I wanted to know so badly so I could name our baby.  This is so important to me because the baby is so real to me…my child, just the same as my other children, only this one died in my womb.  Not being able to give the baby a name somehow makes the baby seem less real, like less of a person. 

   I had a boy name and a girl name picked out.  So, when I realized that we couldn’t know if the baby was a boy or girl, I decided to search for a gender neutral name that I could give the baby.  I prayed that the Lord would show me what to name the baby, and I found nothing that had a good meaning and fit just right.  I gave up on this idea.  I strongly considered taking a guess on the gender, and going with one of our names we had picked out.  But each time I tried to work this out in my mind, I just didn’t feel right about it.  I felt like I would be lying to myself, and to others by doing this. 

   So, this morning during my quiet time, I asked the Lord to give me peace about not knowing the gender of the baby, and peace about not being able to name the baby.  I was having such a difficult time with this, I desperately needed Him to take this desire from me and give me peace. 

   A couple hours later, I went to my Midwife for my follow-up appointment.  She spent a lot of time talking to me this morning.  While talking she mentioned the baby being a boy.  I was shocked and so overjoyed, and immediately started crying!   My head flooded with thoughts – remembering my prayer this morning, thinking it would have been impossible to know, and realizing God’s amazing kindness toward me!  God would have been perfectly Good, and Just, and Kind, had He chose not to reveal this to Me – but He did it anyway!!!  What an amazing, special blessing this is to me, and I am so thankful for it!  Isn’t God so Good?!!

   My midwife went on to tell me that she and the doctor had examined the baby, and both clearly saw that it was a boy.  The doctor also said that he could find nothing wrong with the baby’s spine, nor could he find any birth defects, the baby looked completely normal.  So, they don’t know a cause, but that is perfectly fine with me.  God knows, He was in complete control of our baby’s life, this was His perfect plan for our baby, and that is all I need to know. 

   Now, about that name….  We have decided to name our baby BOY – Noah Matthew.  Noah means “peace,” “rest,” and we know that he is in the ultimate, perfect peace and rest now.  Matthew means “gift of God,” and that he certainly was (as is every child! Psalm 127:3).

   One passage of Scripture that has taken on a whole new meaning to me is Psalm 139, specifically verses 13-16.  This is a passage that we often read to expecting moms at baby showers, and I have always loved it.  Yet now it brings new meaning and comfort to my heart as I think of my precious little baby and his very brief life. 

“For you formed my inward parts;
  you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
  My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret,
  intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
 

  Your eyes saw my unformed substance;  
  in your book were written,  every one of them, 
  the days that were formed for me,
  when as yet there was none of them.”

                                                Psalm 139:13-16 (ESV)

Katie

Boasting In My Weakness

1 Corinthians 12:9-10

Comments

  1. This is beautiful, Katie! I love the name and your sweet attitude through all of this has been so incredible.

    I’s sure this must be very difficult to go through…but you are right in saying God is sovereign and always does what is best.

    I appreciate your faithfulness to God through this…we must thank the Lord for His faithfulness to us.

    Do you know the song *Bow the Knee*? The chorus is very encouraging: Bow thew knee, Trust the heart of the Father when the answer goes beyond what we can see. Bow the knee; Lift your eyes toward heaven and believe the One who holds eternity. When we don’t understand the purpose of His plan, In the presence of the King, Bow the Knee.

    Katie, you seem to be doing this. Even though we don’t know why or have any answers…we can trust the One who holds eternity.

    Bless you tonight!

  2. Katie,
    What a wonderful blog! I am rejoicing with you. I’m singing “Oh Worship the King” in my head.

    Frail children of dust, and feeble as frail,
    In Thee do we trust, nor find Thee to fail;
    Thy mercies how tender, how firm to the end,
    Our Maker, Defender, Redeemer, and Friend.

    How great is our God. He is so good to us! Beyond the most precious gift of Salvation, He choose to reveal your little boy’s identity to you. I was crying tears of joy as I read this. Not just because of your news, but because you recognize God and His goodness. You keep pointing me back to my precious Savior. God’s character is so evident in the words you are posting. Thank you!

    I will continue to pray for you.

    God Bless!
    Leigh

  3. Katie,
    I love the nae you picked for your baby boy, God is so good!

    (((Hugs))) my sweet friend!

    Tiany

  4. PTL! {{{Katie}}} It’s wonderful to see how the Lord answered your prayers. I love the name, too!

    I am still praying for you,
    Hugs, Tamara

  5. Dear Katie, I am overjoyed for you to have been given this blessing from God. The name you picked out for your Son is just beautiful. We were not able to tell for sure the day my Son was born either, it was not until the next day that we knew for sure.
    I am still praying for you during this time. May the Lord continue to bless you, your husband and family through this season of life.
    Love and God Bless,
    Melissa D. SC

  6. Praying for your healing and strength. Psalm 139 is one of my favorites and we are using it on Madeline’s headstone. I have depended on what it says often during the last few months.

    Mandy
    GA

  7. Katie,
    I tried to post a comment earlier, but I think I was having computer problems. 🙂

    I just wanted to tell you that I am rejoicing with you! How Great God is! Beyond the undeserved, perfect gift of Salvation, he continues to bless us in incredible ways. I am sing songs of joy with you. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Throughout your post, I was constantly reminded of my Savior and His kindness and character. Thank you for ministering in this way! To God be all the Glory, for great things He HAS done!

    God Bless!
    Leigh

  8. We will continue to keep you all in our prayers. As a mother I cannot imagine the pain and grieving you all have experienced… I am so thankful for the peace the Lord has given you and for the answered prayer in finding out you had a son. That is a very precious name. He will be waiting for you all heaven. Psalm 39 is also one of my favorite Psalms.

    May God continue to fill you with His peace and comfort these next several weeks. In Him,
    Jennifer

  9. Oh these sweet precious babes. I hurt with you and rejoice with you.. I went through a similiar loss last February. Many ((hugs)) to you!

  10. Your story has touched and blessed me. I am so sorry for your loss of little Noah.

    I also lost a baby at 17 weeks. Something I will never forget. Blessings to you and your family.

  11. I think that is a beautiful name and it is very well chosen. You have my prayers. ((Big Hugs))

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