The Excellent Wife – Right/Wrong Desires

   One book I am currently reading is The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace.  I had started this book a couple years ago, but only got a few chapters into it, and never finished it.  So probably a couple months ago I picked it back up again and started all over.  I love to read great books to encourage me and convict me in my walk with the Lord.  However, I usually read them slowly, as I have time.  If I am not too tired when I get into bed at night I will read for 15-30 minutes.  Sometimes I read one book at a time, but more often I have several books going at once! 

   Last night before I fell asleep I read chapter 7 from this book, which is titled “Christ.”  This chapter was wonderfully convicting (as they all are), and I thought I would share some of what I read with you!  This chapter is all about where our heart focus is as wives.  Is it on Christ, or on our circumstances, or our husbands not living up to our expectations?  Here is a wonderful little excerpt.  Two lists for us to examine our hearts, to help us determine if we have right or wrong desires.  I must say, I was extreemely convicted!  I know these things, but often fall back into that same old sin and need this great reminder and heart check, so that I can repent of it and ask God by His grace, to change me!

“What a wife desires is what she spends time thinking about, daydreaming about, planning for, and longing after.  She may have her heart set on…

Wrong Desires (if Idolotrous/Lustful)

  1. That my husband will be affectionate.
  2. That he will anticipate my needs without my asking.
  3. That he will make me feel special.
  4. That he will not hurt my feelings.
  5. That he will talk to me and share his thoughts and feelings.
  6. That he will put me first.

On the other hand, and wife should have her heart set on…

Right Desires

  1. That I may know God’s word and obey it.
  2. That I may delight in Him.
  3. That I may seek Him with all my heart.
  4. That I may be pleasing to Him regardless of my circumstances.
  5. That I may cultivate an attitude of joy and gratitude in what God is doing in my life no matter what my husband does or does not do.
  6. That I may have joy in God deciding how my life and circumstances can glorify Him the most, that He can use me for His glory.

What is your heart set on? What is really important to you? What you have your heart set on will make all the difference in the world in your fulfillment and your joy.  Ask God to give you new heart’s desires…”   Martha Peace, The Excellent Wife



  1. Katie, thanks for the post. It’s a great reminder to redirect our thoughts/focus back on Christ and obeying his Word. It’s amazing how self-centered I can become in my own marriage. I often find myself thinking about how my husband can serve me when I should be asking myself how I can better serve him. And instead of nagging him about the things he could “do better,” I need to just take them all to the Lord in prayer and trust God with the results.

    Although I think my husband is the most wonderful man in the world, he still a sinner; he cannot meet all my needs and bring me ultimate joy…only Christ can!

  2. very good, thank you for the reminder!

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